Shortly following the events of Friday, November 28th, Tiger Woods released this press statement on his website:

As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore.

This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.

-- Tiger Woods

Read more here: http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200911297726222/news/

          Prior to the media release, popular gossip website TMZ.com was at it again, publishing a story that said Elin Nordegren, Woods' wife, told police investigators and the Florida Highway Patrol two different statements at the scene.

          Additionally, the website uncovered more details on the crash, stating Tiger’s wounds were not a result of the accident, since there were no traces of blood in his Cadillac SUV. 

          Gaining credibility from the story, TMZ has since launched a surplus of laughable, fan-friendly stories regarding the case.

Here are some of my favorites:

Tiger’s alleged mistress: I Never Saw his Putter

Read more here: http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/28/tiger-woods-rachel-uchitel-enquirer-mistress/

A clever play-on-words, TMZ posted this story shortly after the incident occurred, at 6:05 AM Friday morning. The website spoke with Woods’ alleged mistress, Rachel Uchitel, who said the affair was “bulls**t.”

Uchitel also claims the “sources that spoke to the Enquirer were each paid $25,000 for their story.”

Here’s a more credible story from Golf.com:

http://blogs.golf.com/presstent/2009/12/rachel-uchitel-denies-affair-with-tiger-woods.html?eref=twitter_feed

“Tiger: I need a ‘Kobe Special”

Read more here: http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/29/tiger-woods-elin-nordegren-kobe-bryant-rachel-uchitel-zales-ring/

Referencing the 8-carat, $4 million dollar flawless purple diamond NBA star Kobe Bryant bought his wife, Vanessa, after his sexual assault case, TMZ lays claim to a telephone conversation from Friday, saying Tiger told his friend “I have to run to Zales to get a Kobe Special.”

The story also tells us Tiger thought his wife had “gone ghetto” on him. You think Tiger shops at Zales?

Four words: He went to Jared.

“Tiger Getting divorced? You Can Bet on It!”

Read more here: http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/01/tiger-woods-betting-website-divorce-crash-golf-elin/

Make bets on Tiger’s happiness! His livelihood! His family and future!

Pictures of the crash were released on Saturday, Nov 29th, courtesy of TMZ.com

Later that day, Uchitel arrived in Los Angeles to meet with celebrity attorney Gloria Allred to discuss “what the next step should be.”

This ad was released a day later, in Sunday's Wall Street Journal, courtesy of TMZ.com:

          We’ve all heard about the 911 calls, the neighborhood lockdown, the neighbors attempting to sell out the world’s highest paid athlete, and the attorneys trying to make their own.

          The media frenzy doesn’t end, and it keeps getting better. Much to the chagrin of Tiger fans and people who just want them to leave this poor guy alone.

We continue:

“We're told the Florida Highway Patrol has been frustrated by attempts to secure video of the accident. Even though we know there were surveillance cameras on Tiger's property, his lawyer isn't making video available. The people who manage the gated community have said they have no video of the crash.”

Read more here: http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/01/tiger-woods-elin-nordegren-florida-highway-patrol-domestic-violence-dispute-injuries-investigation/#ixzz0YSrb1ZSZ

And now, the 'Tool Academy:'

          At this hour, the scandal gets worse. Another woman has stepped forward, claiming she had a 31-month affair with Woods, and has voicemail recordings and text messages to prove it.

          22-year old Las Vegas cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, most recently seen on VH1’s hit reality TV show “Tool Academy,” has told US Weekly that she has had 20 sexual encounters with Woods, 300 text messages saved, and she’s releasing them to the public tomorrow.

Read more here: http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/01/tiger-woods-us-weekly-jaimee-grubbs-affair-elin-nordegren-voicemail/

          Lost in the shuffle of news stories, Woods cancelled the 2009 Chevron World Challenge, his own Golf tournament.

“Due to injuries,’ Tiger Woods is unable to play in the 2009 Chevron World Challenge… Woods will not participate in any other tournaments in 2009 and will return to action next year.”

          Soooooo. (Awkward silence). What kinds of “false, unfounded, and malicious rumors” were you talking about anyways, Tiger?

          Why is the world so obsessed with Tiger Woods? Maybe because he’s on his way to becoming the most prolific golfer of our time. At age 38, he’s already won 14 major golf championships, and 71 PGA Tour events. Astounding numbers in remarkable timing. Annually, he ranks among the highest paid professional athletes, and has a few SI Sportsman of the Year awards to his name (Take that Derek Jeter).

          If the US Weekly story is true, and Grubbs releases her Tiger love voicemails to the public, it will be the single most devastating development in this story. 

          I’ll leave this story with a kind word from the venicementor (fan comment on Woods’ website):

“Hang in there. Tell all these classless people to mind their own business and don't 'cave' as this is between you and your wife. We are living in a world where people think they own you because the media has made them think they can. Bonne chance to you and your family.”